By: Kevin Jordan Molli Jordan

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Over the past couple of years, women’s equality has been a major topic of discussion, especially in the entertainment industry.  Equal pay and lack of female leads have been two prominent issues in the film industry.  Then there’s GamerGate in the video game industry.  (If you haven’t heard of GamerGate, I’m not even sure you should go look it up.  I’ve read a bunch of stuff and I still don’t fully understand it.  It’s a combination of misogynistic assholes, corrupt game journalists, and extremist feminists all accusing each other of being terrible people…I think.)  Most recently, we’ve had to put up with the asinine narrative surrounding the Ghostbusters remake, in which Sony and many media outlets accused anyone not liking the film of being sexist because a handful of actual sexists started trolling the film when it was announced that the Ghostbusters would all have vaginas.  I have no idea why the sexists had to be such raging dicks about Ghostbusters (other than because they actually are raging dicks) because the women spend a good portion of the movie waving phalluses around.  I also don’t know why pro-women’s movement people would defend Ghostbusters for the same reason – giving a woman a fake dick doesn’t make them equal to men (also, it’s an atrocious movie).  Luckily, after two years of people getting all wound up over the wrong things, we finally have an example in film that actually is pro-women without pandering, lying, or making them drive giant penis-shaped trucks (sorry Furiosa) – Bad Moms.

The genius of Bad Moms is that it isn’t just a movie to empower women, though it primarily is that.  If you’re the kind of guy who doesn’t understand deadbeat dads or men that refuse to change diapers, this movie is for you as well…but in a whole different way.

[Jostling at the computer…wife cuts in.]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Does anyone else see the irony in a man reviewing a movie, and talking about how it empowers women?

I read and edit all of the Number-9 movie reviews, and he tends to ramble.  Let’s just get to the point.

He’s not wrong.  Bad Moms is a great pro-woman, pro-mom movie.  It offers a wonderful peek into how moms often get the short end of the stick.  And I don’t mean from men, and I don’t even mean the dirty-diaper-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-clean-barf-off-my-shirt end of the stick.  I mean the pressure to simply do a good job.  Books tell you that you suck (“don’t drink caffeine while you’re pregnant, or your baby might have eleven toes”).  Articles tell you that you suck (“14 alternatives to watching TV this summer”).  Pinterest tells you that you suck (“77 bento box lunches that don’t include sandwiches”).  And other moms might not tell you to your face that you suck, but they’re sure as hell thinking it.  Being a mom can often feel like you’re doomed to fail, even when you’re doing the best you can.

Don’t be these moms.

Bad Moms walks right up to those books and articles and people…and flicks them all in the nipple.

Or we do this.

Bad Moms is realistically empowering.  This is key.  Empowering a female character does NOT mean dropping her into an established male role, handing her a penis-like weapon so she can shoot stuff, while her impossibly stupid, male secretary cowers in the corner.  Empowering a female character is building up her power IN THE SPACE SHE ALREADY OCCUPIES.  Ghostbusting is not relatable.  Tearing down entitled, insensitive men is funny the first couple of times (I will admit), but still does not drive home the point.  ….But a female character showing up at a 3-hour PTA meeting about food allergens in the bake sale on a Friday night with food spilled on her blazer, resulting in a mental breakdown and a wine binge….now THAT’s relatable.


Not to mention, Bad Moms is funny.  Fuuuuuuunny.  If you don’t laugh during this movie, then you’re probably the author of those condescending Pinterest articles.

I drank Diet Cherry Pepsi while pregnant.  My kid watched non-stop Paw Patrol all weekend.  And his lunches this week included cheese sticks and Fig Newtons.  ….I’m often just doing the best I can.  And my family is going to be juuuuust fine.  Including my husband, who (thank the Lord) is NOT a nincompoop.

Rating – Two enthusiastic tits up.  Because I actually put on a bra today.