By: Kevin Jordan

Do it for the children.

I have a rule against reviewing animated movies for many reasons, chief among them is that I’m not their target audience, children are their target audience.  Yes, I may sound like a child sometimes, but that’s beside the point.  The following is me interviewing my four-year old son to get his take on the film, including his rating.

angry_birds

Did you like the Angry Birds movie?

Yeah

What did you like?

I liked the shooting.

The shooting?

I like the shoot, how the Angry Birds break the buildings.

What was your favorite bird?

The red one.

What did you not like about the movie?

I didn’t like the pig stealing the eggs.

What was the funniest part of the movie?

Yellow.

Just Yellow?

Yellow did this.  [crawls along floor and does a random yoga pose]

How did you like how the birds were dressed?

Because I liked it.

How did you like the costumes?

[creepy giggle]

How did you like the eagle?

Where does the eagle live?

Where DOES the eagle live?

Uh, in his cave.

Do you think he should have lived with the other birds?

Yeah.

Why?

[silence.]

Hey Buddy…why?

[silence.  I think he’s abstaining.]

Did you think the 3D was good?  With the glasses?

Yeah.

Did you like the glasses?

Yeah.

How would you rate Bomb the bird’s performance?

[farts, then giggles]

How did you like the birds’ performances?

Because I…  [unintelligible as he takes a bite of Frosty]

Can you tell me about the birds?

The birds went on the swing, and the big red bird pushed it all the way and he broke it.

Oh…okay. If you could ask Red a question, what would you ask?

…..Uh…because….[distracted by the TV]

Hey!  What would you ask Red?

I want to ask him about a swing.

Do you think that Red learned his lesson?  Was red more angry or less angry at the end?

He was more angry.

How did you like going to the theater? What did you like about the theater?

I liked the Skittles.

Would you tell other people that they should go see Angry Birds?

Yeah.

Why?

Cuz they want me to go to the movie.

Because they should take YOU to the move?

[laughs creepily]

How many stars would you give the movie?

Uh…three.

How many times do you want to watch Angry Birds the movie?

Five.

Rating: $26 because I thought it was 26.