By: Kevin Jordan
A snowball’s chance.
Abominable left so little impression on me that I forgot I saw it for three days. That is when my son asked me when we were going to do his interview for the movie. Once we starting talking about it, the film came back to me, but it was rough for the first few questions. You’ll see what I mean. (Also, SPOILER ALERT – my son has no filter when describing movies and I’m not about to dissuade that.)
Come, sit please.
[makes fart noises with mouth]
Nick please come over here.
[finally wanders to the couch and sits]
It’s been 3 days, nick. Do remember a lot about the movie?
Me neither. Is that a good sign or a bad sign?
Okay, what DO you remember?
That they go to special places.
Who is they?
What was her name again? The kid? …And the cousin. And, um, the, um, the cousin that likes basketball.
Are they kids or are they adults? Or do we even know?
And why are they going to special places?
Because those things are on the way to Mt. Everest. And they’re going to Mt. Everest.
What are “those things”?
The kid…and the kid…and the cousin! Two kids and one adult.
So just 3 people are going? Are they going for fun?
No, they’re going to, um, take the abominable, like….what would you call it?
A magic abominable snowman back to his home. …and his name was Everest.
That seems uninspired.
So, where were they starting from?
Do you remember what city? Or what country?
Are all three people Chinese?
No, they speak English. But the words were Chinese.
Like, on the signs.
Do you think they should have spoken chinese, since they were Chinese people?
How do you feel about that?
Why do you think they did that?
To make us understand what they’re saying. …but you could also put words under, to let you know what they’re saying –
Slash French, slash British.
British IS English.
You said Everest was magic. What magic did he have?
Speeding magic…mmm…how do you describe, like,…do you remember?
I do. I remember he could make plats grow. He could make the ground ripple like waves. He could make them travel in tornadoes. He could make lightning come and snow fall. ….what do you think about him using his magic every time they got in trouble?
[rolling around on the floor by the couch] It’s wasteful.
So, they started in the city. Why was there an abominable snowman in the city?
Because, Everest, I think he ran away from home for no reason.
No…I don’t think that’s why he was in the city…was there anybody else in the movie?
The scientist guys.
What were they doing?
They were trying to get Everest back.
Is that why he was in the city, because the scientists had him?
How would you describe the movie? Was it funny, sad, happy, tense…?
[looks pensive] Ummm…weird.
Like all the powers and stuff, because animals don’t have powers in real life. …but this movie IS fiction!!
Did you think this would be about an animal with powers?
It’s not possible for animals to have powers, like human beings, or insects, or arachnids…but some have tricks to describe a power. Like, wood ants can squirt acid out of their bodies and kill other bugs. [inspects something on the living room floor]
Do you think the movie would have been better or worse if Everest didn’t have any powers? Would it have been more believable?
What was your favorite part of the movie?
The giant blueberries.
Because they shot everywhere. They flew in the sky. INCOMIIIIIIIIING!!!!
What was a part of the movie that you didn’t like?
[fake coughs…more fart noises with his mouth] …
Um, when the girl scientist with red hair tried to kill…well, she tried to take down…well, she tried to make all the kids and adults die, and they’re also gonna kill the abominable snowmen, and I don’t know why.
Of all of the new movies you’ve seen this year, how would you rank this one? Good, not good? How would it compare to the other kid movies you’ve seen?
Just a little bad…and good. Like, in the middle. [wiggles fingers in the air]
If you had $20, how much money would you pay to see this movie?
You’d spend all twenty?!
Well, I was gonna say fifty-seven…
[I explain how money works]
Umm…I think the movie costs maybe…$15.